Balmain Boys Do Cry

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

It's beginning to look a LOT like christmas

I'm not a massive fan of christmas. Saying I had a pathological hatred of it would probably be more realistic. To me it's always been less about the birth of the little baby jesus, and more about family, fights (well, the two go together really) finding crap presents, and fucking crowds of people, all stressed out, hot and unhappy. How the hell are you supposed to achieve peace on earth and goodwill to all men when the fuckers are elbowing you in the head trying to get to the gift wrapping counter?

Anyhoo, Mrs stilt-to-be has decided that the best way for me to get over my santaphobia is full immersion shock therapy. I came home on Monday night to discover our house now sporting:

12 new red candles
11 credit card receipts
10 meters of fairy lights
9 dozen xmas tree ornaments, draped around tortured willow ( I now understand what is torturing it)
8 festive placemats
7 glass angles / trees / stars / thingies
6 xmas cushions on the lounge
5 table runners
4 reindeer antlers on the dogs
3 door ornaments, and 3 new CD's of carols
2 xmas doormats and 2 xmas tea-towels,
a stocking, a white Rudolph statue, and although I'm a little too scared to look, I'm sure that somewhere is a bloody partridge in a pair tree.

I'll let you know how the therapy is going - I'll soon be either out decking the halls, or back to decking carol singers.