Do not adjust your computer

there IS a problem with reality

First of all, those whaaacky poms at Madame Tussaudes are trying to not only pass Dirk's favourite spice girl, Victoria Beckham, off as a virgin, they're trying to convince us that somehow, in a bizzare alternate universe, George W Shrub could loosely be considered a wise man

Meanwhile, in China, they await with bated botoxed breath the announcement of Miss Plastic Surgery 2004. I'm not sure whether the sash and tiara goes to the carbon-based barbi, or to the plastic surgeon working hard to advance mankind through medicine.

The one on the left is 62 - I hope that doesn't make you choke on something. It sure freaked me out.

Back here in Australia, the name of progressive arts takes a giant step backwards as the senior curator of photography at the National Gallery of Victoria, declares Max Dupain's iconic work "Sunbather" to be evidence of his support for eugenics and a White Australia policy.


A white australian

Written by the senior curator of photography at the National Gallery of Victoria, Isobel Crombie, Body Culture: Max Dupain, Photography and Australian Culture, 1919-1939 argues that much of Dupain's work during those interwar years was informed by the then prevailing pseudo-science of eugenics, the philosophy of vitalism and the "body culture" movement. Crombie convincingly argues that Dupain's quintessential Australia was definitely "a white Australia" exclusively, a "regenerated, revitalised Australia" that would arrive as a consequence of an improved, healthy body through breeding, fine-tuned by the Australian landscape.

I'm not sure if it occured to Ms Crombie that Australia in the 1930's wasn't quite as multi-cultural as it is today, hence the use of a caucasian in the photo. As to the charge that the photographer used fit, healthy young models, well, DER! You would think that a gallery curator may hve noticed that trend in the art world over the last, say 2000 years. But maybe I'm talking out my arse, since I failed year 7 art.

But todays final absurdity must surely be the suggestion that the US wants to install Alexander "fishnets" Downing as the head of the International Atomic Energy Agency. The guy couldn't run the Liberal Party, and probably couldn't find his arse if it was on fire. Do you really wanting him looking after the world's nuclear watchdog.

Hopefully we will be able to return you to regular programming tomorrow. If pain persists, see your doctor